Frequently Asked Questions

Scarecrow and Mr. Vogt is a comedy team--perhaps the greatest comedy team ever to arise out of the city of Seattle, which is saying very little.

What does Scarecrow and Mr. Vogt do, exactly?

Shows, generally. Live shows, which involve a great deal of swearing (words like "shit", "fuck" and "hoo-ha"). Sometimes the live shows include hilarious video taped segments, which people tend to find much more amusing than the live segments.

Why do people like the video segments better?

Tough question, but most likey because Scarecrow and Mr. Vogt are best appreciated from a distance, and come across as rather unpleasent in person.

When and where do these "shows" happen?

Usually you can count on a Scarecrow and Mr. Vogt show going down about once a month, generally at a place called the Jewel Box theater at the Rendezvous bar in Seattle's Bell Town.

Why do you do shows so rarely?

Well, the demand for local comedy in Seattle is rather low. Most people want to watch mopey rock shows or homosexual dance competitions. Also, Scarecrow and Mr. Vogt are quite lazy and shiftless, work thankless full time jobs in the service industry and have a small and apathetic fan base because of their poor grasp of proper promotional tools and public relations.

Why should I give a shit about any of this?

Look, the shows are really funny, okay? Seriously. Just go to one. It's five fucking dollars. You'll be amused for over an hour and you can tell people you did something that night other than drink yourself into a stupor.

I don't drink.

You don't drink? You mean alcohol? Why not?

I just don't like drinking, that's all.

Are you a mormon or something?

No, I just don't like drinking.

Were you an alcoholic in the past?

No.

Well then what the hell is wrong with you?

I just like to stay in control. Drunk people always seem stupid to me, and I don't want to behave like that.

Jesus, you sound like an asshole. Maybe you shouldn't go to one of our shows.

Oh, come on. Now I'm sort of curious.

Well...let's see...what kind of comedy do you like, generally?

Oh, I like all kinds of--

Specifically. Like what's your favorite comedy show of all time?

Uh...Sex and the City was real good...I like Friends...

Wait a minute...what gender are you?

Male.

Ouch.

What?

Nothing. Just....maybe you'd be better off staying home and watching American Idol, or renting Pretty Woman or any movie starring Diane Lane.

Oh, I see. So you're a snob, then? Too good for Sex and the City?

Well...yeah, I guess. That show sucks ass. It's just a bunch of lame puns strung together by the occasional glimpse of a 40-year old titty. And Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a goddamn rock carving.

"Titty"? You use the word "titty" and you're too classy for Sex and the City?

Look, will you just go away? Don't you have some alcohol to abstain from or something?

Fine. I bet your show sucks anyway.